Here I Go Again

Today, Sunday, May 12, 2024, is Mother’s Day. For all of us who have moms, a very non-exclusive club, or are related to a mom, or those who are indeed moms, Mother’s Day is special. Today, I think of my mother, Betty, and grandmothers, whom I was blessed to know and love. I am grateful for the love and care they have showered upon me. I think of the moms of my kids and the love and guidance they gave to those kids, helping them to grow into the successful and caring adults they have become. And I think of those same kids’ step-mom who, with courage, patience, and love, has helped us all remember that being a mom is defined by much more than DNA. I am grateful for their presence in our lives.

Moms are the pillars of strength and resilience in our lives. We turn to them when life throws its biggest challenges at us. Even when life's boulders knock down themselves, they help us gather the pieces and remind us that life is a precious gift with all its ups and downs.

It is fitting that I celebrate the moms in my life and an anniversary that has defined my life. On Mother’s Day, 2010, I received my life-saving liver transplant. Nearly fifteen years ago, I was told I was not going to be able to survive. But thanks to the courage and compassion of a young man and his family, I was given my second chance. That young man would be about 38 years old today if that motor vehicle accident did not occur. Instead, I am nearing celebrating a seventh decade in this world. That’s something that I think about every day. And I have tried my best over these fourteen years to repay that blessing. And always knowing that tomorrow is not promised.

A week ago, I had routine lab results drawn. Routine does not mean anxiety-free—those labs are the harbingers of future things. Normal labs, normal life. Not so normal? Uh, oh. These were not good. My potassium levels were very high and warranted an urgent call from my transplant Nurse practitioner. I had to get to an emergency room now. And that took me to an ICU admission. And there, I learned that my kidney function was in sharp decline. Suddenly, things I had kept in the shadows of my life were squarely in the brightness of the hospital lighting. Appointments are being made for dialysis evaluations, and in a few weeks, I begin the process of learning if I am a suitable candidate for transplantation - again. This time, a kidney. Ironically, I feel fine.

As I began to process all this, I kept telling myself, “You got this.” Right now, all I can say is that I hope so. I’m a bit scared. I am aware that some difficult decisions are likely to surface. So, to be sure I keep centered, I am going to write my way through this. The bottom line is that this news ushers in the next chapter of my story. I am a blessed man. I am thankful beyond words for my life, which is why I share my life. So, I hope those who may read these words will keep me and my family in mind. And maybe we’ll find some commonality in our experiences. And we can share. That, ultimately, is what I learned about life from my mom.